the others

Feeling are evoked when situations allow them too.

It was Tuesday when I found out X tried to take her own life. It came as a shock. I never expected...I never thought...it never occurred to me that...
According to F, her depression resulted from a built up of frustration and hurt, she harboured all her sorrows within herself with such expertise, she did tell but nobody thought anything of it. Not until.
What shocked me the most was that I've seen her before, I've said 'hi' before, I've heard stories about her before. I would have recognised her before. And to think she's...the image is only something i would associate with a badly written Chinese drama serial.
She is someone my age.

It made me realised how far I've distanced from the bare thread of life and death. I remember Simeon telling me that he wasn't afraid of death, I told him I wasn't either. I thought, why not, if God wanted to take me now, then let him. Isn't life here on earth just a preparation for eternal life to come? But what about now? I am not afraid of death but I wouldn't want to go now, there are just too many things I've anticipated for. Don't I deserve at least a chance to live through them? I want to collect my results, I want to see if i make it through the ogf interview, council? staje public performance? relationships, friendships, independence, fulfilled ambitions, pay checks, marriage, procreation??? Aren't all these what's I've been living to wait for? living to live for?